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Privacy for elected politicians? Absolutely out of the question!

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Let me tell you something about elected politicians: they like to claim their right to privacy every time they want to hide something that could damage them, or even force them to step down. Privacy, I need my privacy, I’m entitled to my privacy, you hear them say the moment they get caught with their pants down or their skirts up, or found out to be seriously devoted to alcohol or powdered substances, or revealed to be seriously addicted to fiddling their expenses or using their position to gain financial benefits.

Politicians like to insist that what they do in their private lives has no impact on what they do in office. You know, like saying: OK, so I hang out with hookers, so what has it got to do with my abilities to deliver results? Or: Sure, I abuse my position and suck up to rich lowlifes, but deep inside I’m a deeply religious person and care for others. Or: Yes, I exaggerate my expenses but it is only because I’m not getting paid properly for my hard work. Or: Yes, I help my close friends and associates to make money on government contracts, but I see nothing wrong with it as they are all good, decent people and are doing a great job. Or, when cornered: OK, I am corrupt, but I am striving to become better.

So here’s the deal: elected politicians have no right to any privacy. They lost it once they decided to enter politics and exist on taxpayers’ money. They can have their privacy back once they retire – if they are lucky enough not to get caught doing something illegal – but not before. We want to know every tiny detail about their miserable past: did they drink too much or use drugs, did they cheat at school or at university, did they marry for money, were they known for some weird recreational hobbies and were they ever prosecuted and found guilty of any crimes? Did they have any connections with the mob would be another thing we would like to know about. Because that stuff tends to stick for long periods of time and look how it ended so badly for the Kennedy brothers, Jack and Bobby.

Yes, we, the people, who pay politicians their salaries have the right to be in the picture, so to speak. And we want to know what they are up to once they get elected. How much time do they actually spend on their direct responsibilities, are they getting too chummy with undesirable people and so on? We want to know how they treat their families and whether they show too much interest in the opposite sex, or their own sex for that matter. Are they drinking too much, are they healthy or sick. And we want to know what their families are up to and are they using their position as spouses or children of elected politicians to make money out of it.

In other words, we want to know the whole lot. And we want journalists to monitor elected politicians, night and day, and investigate them and not believe a word they say. That is what the press is there for. It should not be getting chummy with politicians. It should be a dog and the lamp post situation, hacks pissing on politicians, in a metaphorical sense, but with all the nasty implications.

And only then can we sleep peacefully. Well, sort of peacefully, in the knowledge that we have got our elected politicians covered. And to hell with their feelings! They knew what they were getting into when they went into politics. You get paid with taxpayers’ money, you suffer for that, you creeps. No privacy for you.

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